When you're on Royal Retinue:

• BE DISCREET--You are going to see and hear a lot of people at their best and worst.  You will learn secrets and gossip fodder that should never be passed along.  Let the King and Queen feel comfortable to talk in front of you, or to you, about what is going on, without having to worry that little tidbits will get out.  People will invariably ask questions about situations, and you may have to finally say "I'm really sorry, but I can't discuss it".  Saying this may sound like you are saying "neener neener, I know something and you don't", but if your attitude shows that you truly regret that you can't talk about something, the people asking will be more likely to understand that it isn't a matter of ego, it is a matter of confidentiality.  If really pressed, you may want to suggest that they discuss it with TRM.

• BE PREPARED--Think ahead to what type of event you'll be attending, what your duties may be, and what situations may come up for you and Their Majesties.  Think of it like being a bridesmaid at a wedding, where you want to be prepared for emergencies.   Find out where the bathrooms are in the feast hall, arrive a bit before TRM do to make sure everything is set up, offer a tent or hotel room they can use as a meeting area is they need one, stock a small cooler with sandwiches if TRM have back-to-back meetings.  During Queen Groa's reign, the ladies carried a shoulder bag at all times (big enough to carry a bag of ice if necessary) , which was passed from Retinue member to member.  It contained:
• A small mirror
• Chapstick and lipstick
• The Queen's toothbrush and a small tube of paste
• A goblet or cup for the Queen--and one for yourself
• A bottle of water
• Kleenex
• Breath Mints
• Ibuprofen
• Safety pins
• A small hair brush
• Bobby Pins
• A disposable camera.  This was often used to document people getting awards, so the photos could be send to the award recipient later. Since many of them had no idea they were getting called up in Court, they were often very appreciative.
• Money, both yours and HRM's.
• two pens
• small notebook for noting things TRM wanted to remember, gifts, awards recommended, etc..
• a fan.  Court can get pretty hot, especially if you are wearing wool....
• Tums
• largesse, such as silver rings or favors
• something to snack on, to bring up someone's blood sugar or to settle someone's stomach.  Think fig newtons or something similar.
• A watch, pinned to the side of the bag
• Event map and schedule
• A wet washcloth in a sealed ziplock bag
• A bit of handwork (sewing, etc) so you can work on something within beckoning range but out of earshot if TRM has a confidential conversation.

• BE ALERT--There will be times when the Royal you are attending needs to have you intervene to get them out of a wandering conversation that will make them late for another obligation (or that is making them crazy to listen to).  Establish a signal with TRM, so if they give you that signal you know to intervene gently and say something like, "I beg your pardon, Your Majesty, but His Majesty requests your presence" or Duchess so and so is waiting to get scrolls signed, or the feast is about to be served or whatever.  Talk with TRM about this, and be prepared to have people think you are rude, rather than TRM.  They can look chagrined, and give their excuses as they move on to the next function.  Also, be aware when TRM need assistance getting through a crowd, or manuevering a wide dress through a narrow doorway, or needs someone to park their car.

• BE AN EXAMPLE--Consider yourself as a temporary member of TRM's household, because other people will consider you to be an extension of TRM, especially if they don't approve of your behavior.  What you say and do will reflect on TRM, and that reflection should be of someone who you'd be proud to run your kingdom.  Look and act the part.

• BE NEUTRAL--What you say may easily and often be construed to be the same opinion as that of TRM.  Even if this is not true, it will be perceived as such.  This is a great time to suddenly keep your opinions to yourself (I know it isn't always easy).

• BE COURTEOUS--Many people will ask you questions or want to speak to TRM, or present a gift personally. Listen carefully, remember their name after they give it to you (if you have to, write it down in the little notebook in the shoulder bag), and treat them with respect.  Remember, for many people approaching TRM to present a gift or request something will be a rare occurrence, and so it should be treated with your full attention and assistance.

• BE HUMAN--and remember the Royals are, too.  They will have times they are hot and cranky, or tired or late or broke or confused or scared.  Don't expect them to be perfect.  Find out what their weaknesses are (forgetting names, being late, etc) and try to find a way to help make this better for them.  Laugh as often as you can. :)

• BE GENEROUS--with your fellow Retinue members.  Remember that people will need breaks, or will want to take the time to go shopping or get a bite to eat.  Also, don't forget to rotate people serving TRM--many people really enjoy it, and feel usurped if you suddenly come in and take over.  Share both the work and the breaks.   This keeps people from burning out, or feeling unnecessary.

• BE HONEST--If you are upset with someone on the retinue or TRM, don't let it fester, and don't go gripe to your friends.  Talk honestly, in private, with the person who is upsetting you, and see if you can work it out.

• BE AWARE THAT IT WILL END--When you're on Retinue, you will suddenly have a whole new set of people who are friendly to you, speak with you, or want your opinion.  Expect a lot of this to go away the moment your set of Royals steps down, and don't be worried about it.  Don't expect that attention to continue.

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