SCA T-SHIRT SAYINGS

• I recently saw a SCAdian tee-shirt that said "Archery: You Can Run, You'll Just Die Tired"--Contributed by Eachna
• "Crossbows don't kill people; quarrels kill people." --contributed by Robin of Gilwell / Jay Rudin
• "Live by the sword, die by the crossbow"--contributed by Friar Thomas
• Sooo... what does one do to get a Bow so Cross that it wants to kill?????--contributed by Luke Breen of Lough Finne
• Prod it overmuch, of course: that will often cause it to bolt and start a quarrel.--contributed by John Husvar
• This pun-post is armed with barbs, nock to mention how it triggers a feeling of "the shaft" in some people.--contributed by Robert Davis
• "Heralds don't pun -- they cant!"--contributed by Cian ua'Lochan /mka/ Michael D. Hofer
• "That was now; this is then"--contributed by Robin of Gilwell / Jay Rudin
• Once a King, always a King -- But once a (K)night is never enough.--contributed by Robert Bunn
• And a favorite of us in the North country, The Northshield T-shirt, showing a falconer's glove holding a moquito, belled and jessed.--contributed by Berwyn
• "Build a listfield - they will come" (seen on a Northshields T-shirt at Pennsic a few years ago.)
• As seen on a T-shirt: "Viking is a verb, pinhead."--contributed by Murasaki
• I always liked " Viking means never bothering to say you are sorry"--contributed by Karl Rasmussen of Tvede
• The way to a mans heart is through his stomach . . . and UP!--contributed by dsmitho6@mail.orion.org
• From our friends at Screaming Viking Mead:--"It's take a Viking to raze a village"--contributed by bookskin@gator.net
• How about this one--"Practice Safe Government.....Use a Kingdom"--contributed by Fulk of Shrewsbury
• A Hordesman might say "use a Khandom".--contributed by Arval d'Espas Nord
• An old toast among the Hordes is; "Here's to the King in his Kingdom. And here's to the Khan....."--contributed by Corun
• How about: "SCA: The next best thing to being there." or ".........................Got mead?"--contributed by Vicky
• Front: My wife said if I built one more siege engine she'd leave me... Back Gee, I'm gonna miss her.--contributed by Daniel de la Neuclaire
• Not if your siege engine is accurate enough.... }B->--contributed by Dave Aronson
• Yeah, I used to miss my ex. But my aim is getting better.--contributed by William Golihtly
• I've always wanted to make one that says: "My wyfe/husband/father/mother journeyed unto Canterbury, and brought me only this beloused t-tunic"--contributed by Margaret
• How about "My father sacked Lindisfarne, and all I got was this crummy penannular brooch"?--contributed by Elfrida
• I've got a shirt that dates back to about Pennsic 9 that shows a couple of knights standing around a fellow on a ladder, taking down the heater-shaped interstate signs. The caption underneath sez: "Right, who hasn't got a shield yet?" One of the knights is looking at the other's shield as if trying to figure out how to blazon it.--contributed by satyrsong@aol.com
• Then there's always "Once King's a Count, Twice King's a Duke, Three times King is someone who didn't learn the first two times!"--contributed by Aryanhwy
• One of my proudest possessions is an apron I won--it says "War Cook, Death From Within" and underneath "Over 10,000 Slain!"--contributed by Adellind le Quintain
• This is one we got at our "local war." Warriors & Warlords which takes place in the Barony of Jararvellir in the Middle Kingdom. "Amici mei ad Bellatori et Domini Belliri VI vadent, et emptatent meum solum hic tunicam pestilientiam." Which if my really rusty Latin holds true, translates to "My friend went to Warriors and Warlords VI and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!" --contributed by Lady Kathryn Fletcher
• The Borough of Felding, in the Barony of Carolingia, East Kingdom, is based in an all-womens college (Wellesley College, Wellesley, MA). They recently produced t-shirts for fundraising. The T-shirt bears an image of a Woman Fighter, with a shield bearing the arms of Felding, and a legend that declares "Not All Damsels Are In Distress!" --contributed by Seonaid McDermott
• SCA : I don't go postal: I get medieval (Soon to be a button and/or bumper sticker near you )--contributed by John Husvar
• Never piss off a bard, for they are not subtle, and your name scans to Greensleeves.--contributed by Robert Bunn
• CARPE DUCTUM [Sieze the Tape]--contributed by Gotfrid von Schwaben
• Vikings? There ain't no Vikings here, just us honest farmers. The town was burning, the villagers were dead. They didn't need those sheep anyway. That's our story and we're sticking to it. -Ilaine de Cameron --contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• I always liked "I'm not a Viking, I'm a merchart marine salvage engineer, Preemptive salvage specialist."--contributed by George
• The SCA: It's like a Who concert with festival seating, except we have the sense to wear armor.--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• I don’t need an alternative lifestyle, I’ve got an alternative life!--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• The SCA is a great deal of fun: we can have Archaic and eat it, too!--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• Elizabethan Christmas: Codpiece on earth, good frills for men.--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• Remember, one Pict is worth a thousand woads.--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• Been there, slain that.--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• I had to swim the moat to get to you fair maiden. So, would you like to see my breaststroke? -- Daniel Ransom--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• My! But you are a beautiful damsel in distress! Allow me to help you out of it. -- Dennis Bazell--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• Why go to SCA events? Because day just wouldn't be complete without a Knight--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• The first time I saw thee, I felt as if my stomach had been raided by beautiful fire breathing dragons. Uh... in a nice way of course. . -- Graeme Jack--contributed by Chaiya bat Avraham Toledano
• Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it - inaccurately!
• History is just one damn thing after another
• SCA- It's not just a job; It's an indenture
• A generation which ignores History has no past... and no future (Lazarus Long)
• We're from the Crown-- We're here to help
• We're from the Pelicans-- We're here to help
• No castle, no coronet, no problems
• Feudalism-- It's your Count that votes
• Banish me Please!
• Serf-- It's not just a job; It's an indenture
• Squire-- It's not just a job; It's an indenture!
• I'm a squire, not a public servant
• I may be a squire, but I'm not YOUR squire
• The way to a man's heart is through his ribs
• He who dies with the most steel wins
• Old fighters never die-- Their armor just smells like they did
• Old fighters never die-- They just take longer to resurrect
• Will fight for beer
• Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill
• Viking raiders-- coming soon to a village near you
• We are Normans. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile
• 1066- too much Saxon violence
• Hide your cattle; the Celts are coming
• Hide your sheep; the Scots are coming
• Old Celts never die-- they just have harp failure
• So much fabric, so little time (one of Mira's favorites...)
• As ye sew, so shall ye rip (this one was probably invented for me...)
• "Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Catholics" (Black Adder II)
• The only problem with Baptists is that they don't hold them under long enough
• They got the library at Alexandria-- They're not getting mine
• The worst part of censorship is XXXXXXX
• Duc, Sequere, aut de via decede (lead, follow, or get out of the way)
• Heralds lend class to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl
• "Of course he has a knife. He always has a knife. We all have knives. It's 1183, and we're barbarians." (Lion in Winter)
• "That's the worst case of testoterone poisoning I've ever seen" (Babylon 5)
• "He must be a King-- He hasn't got shit all over him" (Monty Python/ Holy Grail)

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